| Update. |
[28 Oct 2008|01:31pm] |
Not dead.
Don't want to talk about it, though. Too much shit to sort through. Very, very complicated.
First time I've been online since April, which was the first time I've been online since February. Country life sucks.
Hotmail decided to delete my account, the bastards. Erica, if you're reading this I should be able to write you in a few weeks and give you an update. That's sort of why I haven't responded, the whole "deleted account" issue. Goddamn.
PS: my grandmother's a severe alcoholic, and nobody knows but me. I am going to ruin her with this information.
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[30 May 2007|04:33pm] |
Alright, here goes. An entry about something other than my shitty life.
The drama. LJ throws down the banhammer, fandoms everywhere throw a shitfit, it's Shark Week '07 all over again. I'm not going to go into whose fault it is or who reported whom or the ridiculousness of watchdog sites that decided to go vigilante because the normal channels weren't doing their jobs, damnit. Fuck protocols to avoid entrapment, fuck monitoring for actual crimes, I'm going rogue.
I'm also going to go ahead and say that I'm not a lawyer, I'm not an American, and your constitution has no bearing on me. But I see things like this:
"Damn, If I have to go threw my LJ scrapbook I am going to sue WoI for taking away my rights provided threw the Bill O' Rights....."
and I feel there are a few things about the concept of Freedom of Speech that need to be clairified.
In most countries, the right to Freedom of Speech means that you cannot be persecuted by the government for your words alone. However, you can be sued for libel or slander (false statements made with the intent to harm the reputation of another), for harrassment (other people have the right to not be harrassed), for harmful hate speech (you can say "I hate gays", but as soon as that statement causes disruption in someone else's life it's a form of harrassment), and be investigated for threatening behaviour (law enforcement agencies would rather catch you after you threaten to kill someone but before you actually kill someone). You're allowed to go into a public place and scream "THE PRESIDENT IS A RETARD" and nobody can do anything, though you might piss some people off.
A key part of the right to free speech, though, is "public space". This is where the fun part begins.
Many governments also have certain privacy rights, and falling under those privacy rights is the right to establish your own rules on your own property (so long as those rules do not cause the harm of others). You can have a rule for your home stating that nobody is allowed to wear shoes, and if you wear shoes you can get the fuck out. You can have a dress code for your restaurant and refuse entry to slobs who can't bathe. You can have a rule for your company that your employees are not allowed to discuss football on work time.
LiveJournal is considered a private entity, though it is mostly available for public use. It is not public property because it is privately owned and operated. They are allowed to make their own rules, and are allowed to enforce those rules at their own discretion. Their opinion can be swayed by investors, users, and outside pressure, but they are perfectly within their rights to make a rule stating "All users who use the word 'cat' will be banned" and then enforce it.
"But we pay for livejournal!" Yes, yes you do. But you don't have to, much like you can cancel your subscription to HBO if it offends you that much. And you can waive your right to use LJ by doing something that they deem against their rules, much like teenagers around the world waive their rights to watch movies in a theatre when they're yelling at the screen and pissing everyone off (even though they paid for a ticket like everyone else).
Now, I'm not saying that this whole situation is fair and just and nobody should complain. Raise holy hell if you want to, I would if had any investment in it. But it is not illegal, it does not infringe on your rights for them to decide "No discussion of taboo subjects, fictional or otherwise, on LJ" and follow it with actual account suspensions.
To recap:
-Does it suck? Yes.
-Was it a dick move? On somebody's part, yes.
-Should you fight this? If it's important to you, yes.
-Are there worse things to worry about than whether or not you can write about Snape fisting Harry up the ass for "extra credit"? God yes.
-Is it illegal? Yeah, not so much with this one.
The end.
edit to add: I suppose a good analogy would be that it's their sandbox, their toys, their rules. Doesn't mean you can't kick sand at them for telling you you're not playing "right", but they are still allowed to call your mother and have her take you home.
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[24 May 2007|03:16am] |
Over the last month it's been relatively okay - still have a place to live, business stuff still keeps on trucking forward, mom and dad have been having some conversations where mom gets a little short with dad because he never says anything clearly anymore but she wouldn't be like that at all if he didn't start this shit in the first place and hey, I'd rather be stuck around for some stiff conversations than the all-out fights. Nothing's fixed yet, but the tension is mostly gone to the point where I'm not crying five times a day and for the past few weeks I've been able to be a little bit human.
However, today was a bad day. Why? Well, supposedly the thing is closed, closed as in "we are getting money now" closed. Money getting is supposed to be tomorrow, closing was yesterday, guy who handles accounts was out of town for long weekend and wasn't free until tomorrow.
Now, a normal person can say "Good, we are getting this done tomorrow and then we can finally get on with things". Unfortunately, I am no longer a normal person, and god fucking rues my very existence for some reason, so I have to worry about: is dad making this up again, is it actually going to get done, what is going to happen if it doesn't get done, what is going to happen if it doesn't get done and he actually isn't lying, is this the last last straw or what, where am I going to live, who am I going to go to for help, and exactly how bad is this going to get tomorrow.
Honestly, I wish I could worry about stupid shit again like a normal person. I'd also give anything for a fucking shrink but lucky me I'm stuck in both a personal and physical hell, and any "professionals" in this town are all fucking useless and impossible to get into unless you can pay. Thanks, dad, for trapping me in a town with a factory-based economy that's slowly being shut down.
I'm going to puke.
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[26 Apr 2007|03:41pm] |
The whole thing about the cheque from the communications deal being is escrow and we'd get our money this week was bullshit. Why'd he lie about it? Because he "thought he could get it done". Since the middle of April we've been hearing that $160,000 is in escrow, and that it was finally cleared this week, and that we'd get a bit of it today/tomorrow. There is no cheque. What the fuck is wrong with him, he's been blaming my mom for the past two weeks, saying "the reason we don't have any money right now is because you didn't get your tax return/didn't work hard enough/didn't use your credit card to get us a phone/you put too much pressure on me".
Rent's due Saturday (after being given a two week notice two weeks ago), and we're broke. Because we had to spend so much in December from all the bills that piled up from August-December, so we haven't been able to pay for things since the middle of March. Mom's been trying to find a job but nobody's hiring, and they don't pay enough anyway. I've given up all my money and sold off a lot of things, but it doesn't help when you're told fucking $160,000 is practically yours and then whoops, it never existed because I'm a jackass who gets off on your continued pain.
I don't know if my brother or my grandparents will help, I don't know if my mom will be too stubborn to go to her family, I'm really scared and I'm tired of dealing with this. I'm tired of being hurt all the time. It's not fair, I didn't get a chance, I tried so hard to do everything but I can't do it alone.
If I'm not around I just want everyone to know that I'm sorry for ignoring you all for so long and I'm sorry about being such a miserable person. I thank all of you for at least reading and I'm sorry I've had to worry people for so long. I don't know what's going to happen anymore.
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| Spread da werd. |
[06 Apr 2007|07:39pm] |
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mood |
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not dead (yet) |
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music |
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Powderfinger - Already Gone |
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Todd Goliath: you've seen his shirts, they've got dumb stick figures with things like "I throw rocks at boys" on them. He's also got art galleries showcasing more of the same, and selling this shit for thousands of dollars.
Months (years?) ago, there was a bit of a scandal where Goliath's spooky little girl t-shirts were a more-or-less direct rip-off of Roman Dirge's Lenore. Fuss was raised. Outcome was quiet. Goliath still prints his tees.
However, this time he's gone too far.
Ripping off another artist and selling that shit not only on T-shirts, but in galleries? Over the fucking line.
Shmorky/Dave Kelly is the awesome creator of Purple Pussy. Purple Pussy is a Purple Pussy who swears and beats up boys and is fucking awesome. Goliath blatantly copied an old drawing of Kelly's, and now his "Art" is hanging in a Los Angeles gallery. This has gone too fucking far, he's made too much money and become too popular out of ripping people off.
And for those of you who like your comeuppance via Digg, a nice handy link exists right over here. At the very least, point out the Digg link to some people.
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[01 Mar 2007|12:51am] |
Official: the nonsense that has consumed my life has officially driven me insane.
I can't listen to the same excuses and the same arguments and the same bullshit and the same lies over and over and over again until they're both dead and I'm finally left with nothing and no-one.
I'm tired that every time there's a delay, it's always that either my dad is lying or someone is screwing me over again. I'm tired of waiting for something I don't even know is going to come. I'm sick because I just gave up years of my life just to be saddled with a complete lack of education and nothing to look forward to but a minimum wage job for the next fifteen years, working my ass off day in and day out for nothing but the ability to pay some bills. Honestly, what's the point in that? I was teased so much in my life that education was the only thing that ever mattered to me, and if I can't have that then what is the point of surviving in a shithole town I've hated for years?
I'm tired of having to listen to my dad's complaints about his life, and telling him that sure, his complaints are legitimate, but they don't fucking count right now because I'm still in this mess and that's his fault. Yeah, my mom could be doing more to help right now. But you know what? He could have avoided destroyed her self-esteem by not creating these labyrinths of lies. Yeah, maybe this situation would be more tolerable for me right now if I were on some sort of medication. But honestly, unless he fucking changes the situation like he was supposed to, medication isn't going to do anything for me other than dope me up for a while.
I'm tired of all my answers to everything being "I don't know", but I just don't anymore. I don't have answers. I don't have solutions. I can't even find a way to help myself - yeah, sure dad! I can go on welfare so I can get the money for my high-school diploma! Yeah, that'll help me now, when I asked you to TELL ME WHAT I NEEDED TO DO TO FIX THIS WHEN I WAS SEVENTEEN. "Do I need to get a job?" I asked. No, no, no. I don't. He's going to pay for it, it'll be all taken care of in a month, and maybe I'll be a bit behind but it'll be okay.
I just don't know anything anymore. I used to be so smart and have so much common-sense, but fat good that did me.
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[22 Feb 2007|07:32pm] |
Richard Duffy made a deal with Mark to go ahead and take the money and the shares from the cellular deal.
He stole from me. He just stole $50,000 from me in cash, and over half a million in shares. And the other one facilitated it.
I can't take this anymore.
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[18 Feb 2007|02:00pm] |
The Sarah Silverman Program is fucking hilarious, I don't know why so many people hate it.
Seriously, in the first episode she has a cold, so she goes to the grocery store to get some cough medicine. After being super-sweet to an old lady (but then kind of mean), she selects her cough medicine ("Oooh, orange!"), and decides to ignore the warning on the label that it's nighttime formula ("Yeah, like my body knows what time it is."). She starts chugging the cough syrup, and drives herself home, meanwhile her surroundings slowly change to an animated wonderland filled with happy cars and Truckosaurus on the moon.
Then she goes to Scotland, where she has the following exchange with the Loch Ness Monster:
"Sarah, you're so skinny, you should eat a sandwich."
"Thanks, Loch Ness Monster, you're the best!"
She's not cute and racist, she's cute and a complete psychopath who breaks out into song. One morning she wakes up with a case of the blahs, so she goes to get an HIV test to make herself feel better - what better way to make yourself feel better than with good news?
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[05 Feb 2007|02:42pm] |
If your computer is going to be on today, please go to tomgreen.com and leave the window open. I don't care if you don't watch or listen, but it's important.
Tom Green has promised to stay on air, as long as his ratings keep getting bigger. Why should you participate in watching the mostly unfunny, immature Tom Green? Because, if we get enough people to watch him, he will have to keep his show on air. Maybe we can keep him going until tonight. If this works, though, we could keep him going for a whole day, or longer. And who doesn't want to see a sleep deprived man hosting a show? That is a recipe for madness right there. For added fun, he's accepting most calls. It's uncensored and unscreened, I think.
We need to keep this going. Tell your friends.
Tom Green, dot com. For science.
(for the record, he's taking a five minute break right now, and he'll be live in a minute. He's been doing this periodically, but not very often.)
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[02 Feb 2007|07:09pm] |
Anyone ever watch the Lord of the Rings Rifftrax, and remember the part where they said "And all the teenage girls are going, 'He's a boy, but he looks like me! I love him'" when Legolas came on to the screen?
Yeah, this video takes the term "sexually non-threatening" to astronomical levels. Particularly the guy with the silver hair.
Now I know why girls like boy bands so much. They're cute and they're nothing to be scared of!
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[13 Jan 2007|03:39pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives - Soy Bomb |
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I stole the Triple J Hottest 100 CD from 2004 from my brother, because I'm looking for new music that doesn't suck. I figure, hey, it's usually pretty good music, there's always been some decent mainstream stuff on those discs. Maybe I'll find a band I missed?
Nope.
The only songs I liked on the whole thing were songs I've been listening to for three years anyway. The rest of it is boring, repetitive crap, and in recent years rock music has gotten even worse.
And my parents wonder why I spend most of my time listening to the music they listened to when they were teenagers. Epicure's okay, though. Maybe a little bland, but not offensively dull.
Music post to come. Also, I hate Belle and Sebastian with far more anger than is necessary.
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| To the moon, Alice. |
[03 Jan 2007|05:11pm] |
So, our household has been a bit behind on the bills these last few months. But that was all taken care of the week before Christmas, so no problems.
And this week, we've been perfectly on time for all of our December bills. So even less problems.
So someone please explain to me why, when we paid A: In Cash and B: On Time, Ontario Hydro came to our door this morning and said "Duhrhurrrrrr, we're fucking retards and we're putting an inhibitor on your meter. Your power will be shut on and off every half hour, because WE'RE TOO STUPID TO HANDLE OUR OWN ACCOUNTING."
And then when we drop everything and drive all over town all day to figure out WTF happened, and get everything cleared up hours before 4:30 (their cutoff time for getting it fixed tonight), they still haven't come around to fix anything?
Fuck this goddamned town.
Godfuckingdamnit, my brother has to go on a business trip tomorrow, not Friday, tomorrow, and he needs to pack and do laundry. It's bad enough not having a dryer anymore, but GOD FUCKING DAMNIT.
Update: Electricity fixed. Still angry, but filled with delicious enchiladas. Am placated.
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[31 Dec 2006|05:41pm] |
Dear 2007,
If you suck in any way, I am going to do everything in my power to ensure that there will not be a 2008.
Fair warning, you son of a bitch.
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| So. |
[24 Dec 2006|09:20pm] |
What exactly do you do when you've found that a store employee has stolen one of your purchases?
I bought my mom a shirt and a pair of earrings at H&M. Unfortunately, I also got her a pair of shoes earlier, and at the shoe store when they removed the security tag it fell off back into the box, setting off the alarms in every store until I found it. So, when I was leaving H&M, with my shirt and earrings, I was stopped by an H&M employee because of the stupid fucking security tag, who went through my bags, and must have removed the earrings in the process.
How do I know this for sure? Because immediately after having all my bags gone through I carefully wrapped up the bag and placed it in a much larger bag. The earrings are nowhere to be found, and could not have fallen out anywhere.
I am going to ruin that motherfucker. Merry fucking Christmas, buddy, I hope when I'm through with you you somehow find worth in stealing a pair of cheap earrings from someone who has had everything taken away for so long.
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[20 Dec 2006|09:53pm] |
Virgin Komodo Dragon to give birth
It's the second coming, kids, so get ready to bow down to the King of Lizard Kings. With any luck, one of the babies will grow giant with the SUPER GOD POWER, and Gojira will walk again.
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| Three Stories |
[18 Dec 2006|08:08pm] |
The Good: Casinos closed with the people who are not SLOW STUPID SNAILS HAHA YOU LOSE BECAUSE YOU ARE STUPID AND SLOW HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR NON-MONEY YOU FASCISTS, meaning the people who wanted to pay more and not be stuck on the short bus about all this. Which means we are po' no mo', and they get a tax write-off. Everybody wins.
The Bad: My head, in its infinite destressing wisdom, is spending the night in Massive Fuckoff Headacheville (home of the only pain so bad as to make death seem like a perfectly reasonable solution), and is now making reservations at the palatial OverlookMigraine Hotel. If we get in, I am so going to be seeing that piece of celabratory pie again.
The Ugly: I need a shower, my cat needs a bath, and there is enough dust in this house to kill an allergic five-year-old.
Edit: I tried to find an image that was somehow relative to this post, but all I could find was this:
(C)happy (C)ha(n)nu(k)kah.
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[30 Nov 2006|04:34pm] |
My brother came back from his business trip for a week, but he has to go back tomorrow. I wish he wouldn't because I feel slightly safer when he's in the house.
There's probably going to be another screaming match tomorrow. I wish this wasn't happening.
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[23 Nov 2006|09:15pm] |
Jesus Fucking Christ.
Yeah, nothing today either. First of all I wake up and he's still fucking here even though he promised me he didn't have to wait for any phone calls this morning in order to go in to the city today and get this fucking thing done. And that he was going to be leaving at around 6:30am. So when I wake up at 8:30 of course I'm pissed off.
Second, I spend all day in a panic because I want it to be over so badly but I'm sure that it won't be. Guess what? I'm right.
He comes back home talking about how they had to file for some certificates in order to do this. Standard business thing, okay, but why weren't they done before? Oh, he assumed they had already been done. And the people he's doing this with didn't know it needed to be done. So, after having five more days of my life wasted, I have to wait even longer because NOBODY CAN DO THEIR FUCKING JOBS AND MY ENTIRE LIFE IS DEPENDENT ON THIS.
So what needs to be done? Well, the paperwork for the certificates has been filed, and then it has to go to a lawyer to be notarized, and then they can go through the arduous process of writing/certifying/depositing/repeat so that we get something. Actually, it's simple to do and doesn't take that long but these people are retards trying to master calculus.
So technically it's supposed to be done tomorrow, maybe Monday but knowing people as lazy assholes who never do anything they're supposed to, that means Tuesday. Which means another five days are wasted. Oh, guess what else? I have until the middle of February to A: learn and B: pass grade twelve. Hey, I used to have a year to do this shit, now I have eleven weeks.
But hey, my only other way out of this is to convince my grandparents to take me in, which they'd probably only do for a few weeks and they'll treat me like shit the entire time. LIFE IS FUCKING AWESOME.
To anyone who feels like whining about exams or grades or anything of a school nature: I'd strangle a million babies with my bare hands to be in your position right now. Your lives are not hard, it's just work. Hard is when you can't do anything about it. Consider yourselves lucky. My father has taken away more than he has ever given to me.
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[23 Nov 2006|12:18am] |
Dear World,
COME ON.
Seriously.
Today's news is that a meeting was scheduled to sign stuff on the casinos and, more importantly, have money handed over BECAUSE NOW IS THE TIME FOR PUTTING UP OR SHUTTING UP. It was going to be yesterday but the people were in a town that's a fair drive away from their office working on other business and couldn't comfortably get back in time for Tuesday afternoon. So Wednesday morning it was, until we get a phone call about "Hey, we're still in that stupid town, how about this afternoon?" which would've been okay if it was like 1:00pm or something but late afternoon isn't workable because BANKING TAKES TIME. So it couldn't be today, it has to be tomorrow and for once in my life I want something to not just happen when it's actually supposed to happen but I'd like it to actually get done.
Come. On. I've been putting my life on hold for years because of other people's shit, I think I deserve a fucking break.
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[22 Nov 2006|02:36am] |
God, I hope tomorrow goes like it's supposed to.
Nobody else has made a decision regarding the casino thingy, even though there are DYING PEOPLE and DEADLINES involved, and the whole thing is supposed to be like a RACE. Oh well, snooze you lose, fuckers. Serves you right.
No commitment from the Bank on the communications thing, though apparently they're still working on the documents. As long as it's finished by the end of the week I guess I'll be happy, but I won't rest easily until something binding is signed. Commit, you jerks - you say you want it, so commit to it. It doesn't have to be finalised, but you get engaged to someone before you actually marry them. Right now you're just saying "Hey, let's get married in like two weeks!!!!! :D:D:D:D" but there's no damn ring.
Here's a lesson for everyone: Don't say you're interested in something you know you don't want to do. Are you uncomfortable with the risks involved in investing in a foreign country? Fine. But don't waste two weeks of people's time if you know up front that you're uncomfortable with doing this to the point that actually investing would be a rare occurrence. It's just fucking courtesy.
EDIT: suggest me some anti-virus software, I kind of desperately need some and I might be able to pick something up in a day or two.
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